Refinements regarding mock final piece and how to overcome the flaws

Looking at my mock final piece I found that it wasn't emitting the dramatic impact that I had predicted. I thought that the installation would feel distressing and out of control to reflect a depressive mind, however it lacked the sheer intensity of these emotions. The use of marks on the Tyvek is beginning to build this idea of desperation and of a frantic mind set of the individual, but the effect of this isn't being portrayed as successfully as I thought it would have been.
As this didn't go as planned, I have looked back through my sketchbooks to see what is different between my refinements and the work that I did on my mock final piece. I came to realise that what was lacking was the amount of texture that the Tyvek was providing. When heated, Tyvek condenses into small bubbles and also stretches to form holes which the stiffen to create a rough, jagged texture. This is what my mock final piece was missing and this has happened because I have stuck newspaper to the entire surface area of the back. This has meant that the Tyvek has been weighted down by the newspaper, so the heat hasn't manipulated it fully and so only small textures have been drawn out.
To combat this I am going to look at ways in which I can add minimal newspaper so that the Tyvek has space to condense, without being restricted by another surface. To align with my concept of depression more concisely, I am going to select pieces of newspaper which include words that link to my theme, for example, hurt, desperate etc. So that I can create more contrast between the medium that I use (charcoal) and the surface (Tyvek), I am going to smudge some of the short, frantic marks that I make so that this soft texture contrasts the rigid Tyvek. Also I want there to be contrast in terms of tone and so as well as adding marks to the Tyvek using charcoal, I am also going to remove some of this tone using a rubber, in the same way that I could use charcoal. Additionally, I am going to vary the lines in terms if thickness to make the inside of the installation appear more interesting.
Additionally, I have evaluated the shape of the installation and I think that it is too open to represent a trapped, depressed individual. Therefore, I am going to make the structure narrower and have it in the shape of a triangle so that a more dramatic isolation occurs when the viewer interacts with it.

Update:
Planned refinements carried out onto Tyvek